Relationships can be difficult in even the best situations. Imagine when there are obstacles and challenges bombarding you along the way. Life can be confusing and conflicting, but you need to determine if you truly love the person you are with or if you are just scared of starting over in the dating world. Many people say they saw the signs that the relationship was over, but refused to take the first step because they were scared. This is why so many people do not leave their partner until they have found someone else who makes them happier. Finding a new partner can make it easier to leave the current one, but this is not a good way to go about breaking up with someone.
Often in a relationship, one partner decides they want to move on and the other does not. It can be hard to break up with someone, even if it is the right decision in the long run. So, what do you do if you are the one being dumped and you don’t want to break up?
First, you need to determine if the reason you don’t want to break up is a legitimate reason. There are many reasons that make it hard to break up with someone, but if you think there are still lots of positive reasons, and your partner is willing, you should try to give it another shot, then do your best to try one last time. After this last attempt, if things do not change or the relationship does not progress, you will know that it is truly over and that you need to move on for good.
Second, you need to determine why you are holding on to someone that doesn’t want to be with you. If the other person tells you they want to break up and they are not in love with you, it is often hard to get them to change their mind. And you do need to ask yourself an important question, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you as you love them? The break up may be the best thing that ever happens to you because you now have the chance to find someone who truly loves you.
Third, you need to allow yourself to process everything you are feeling. A break up is hard, no matter the reason and who initiated it. It may be that your heart doesn’t want to break up, but in your mind you know that it is the right thing to do in the long run. If you are in a relationship that is going nowhere, you need to listen to your head and take that first step to being able to start moving on. It will be hard so if you need to, get some tissues, ice cream and your favorite romantic movies and just let it all out. You will feel so much better that you got all the emotions out of your system and you will have given yourself a chance to take the first step and move forward in your life.
Fourth, now that the relationship is over, it is a good chance to learn from the past. Contemplate all of the things that made your relationship good and all of the things that made it bad. Think about who may have contributed to causing the negative parts of your relationship, and determine if you can find ways to act differently in the future. Often times we like to blame others for all of the relationship problems and break-up, when in reality we are also usually a part of the problem too. Take responsibility for your part of the break-up and see where you can improve so that your next relationship has the best chance of lasting forever.
Finally, it is time to move on. You have spent some time dealing with everything and contemplating where you may have gone wrong and where to work on improving. Now it is time to pick up the pieces, move forward and enjoy life. Start getting out there and meeting new people and taking part in new social experiences. Enjoy being single and work on self-improvement during this transition period. Some people might end up having a rebound relationship at this point (though be careful of the other person’s feelings), while others just need some time on their own to recuperate. Whatever you need, take the time to relax and truly enjoy yourself. Many people get lost in a relationship and lose parts of themselves to their partner. Get back in touch with your inner self and make sure you are doing all of those things that make you truly happy and feel alive. Once you have healed emotionally, you can start to think about the beginning of a new relationship, but until then give yourself plenty of time to truly get over your break up. In time, a wonderful new relationship may be just the thing you find in the near future.
What things have you found helpful when you have gone through a breakup? Share in the comments below.