What to do when you don’t want to break up

Break up

Relationships can be difficult in even the best situations. Imagine when there are obstacles and challenges bombarding you along the way. Life can be confusing and conflicting, but you need to determine if you truly love the person you are with or if you are just scared of starting over in the dating world. Many people state they saw the signs that the relationship was over, but refused to take the first step because they were scared. This is why so many people do not leave their partner until they have found someone else who makes them happier. This is not the way to go about breaking up with someone, but finding a new partner usually helps you to leave the current partner.

Often in relationships one partner in the relationship decides they want to move on and the other partner does not want to move on. It can be hard to break up with someone, even if it may be the right decision in the long run. So, what do you do if you are the one being dumped and you don’t want to break up?

First, you need to determine if the reason you don’t want to break up is a legitimate reason. There are many reasons that make it hard to break up with someone, but if you think there are many more that should make you give it another shot (and the partner is willing), then do your best to try one last time. After this last attempt, if things do not change or progress, you will know that it is truly over and that you need to move on for good.

Relationship breakup

Second, you need to determine why you are holding on to someone that doesn’t want to be with you. If the other person tells you they want to break up and they are not in love with you, it seems pretty hard to get them to change their mind. And ask yourself why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you as you love them? The break up may be the best thing that ever happens to you because you now have the chance to find someone who truly loves you.

Third, you need to allow yourself to feel everything you are feeling. A break up is hard, no matter the reason. It may be that your heart doesn’t want to break up, but your mind knows that it is the right thing to do. If you are in a relationship that is going nowhere, you need to listen to your mind and take that first step and move on. It will be hard, so get some tissues and some romantic movies and let it all out. You feel so much better that you got all the emotions out of your system and have given yourself a chance to move forward in your life.

Fourth, now that the relationship is over, you need to learn from the past.   Contemplate all of things that made your relationship good and all of the things that made it bad. Think about who is to blame for the negative parts of your relationship and determine if you can find ways to act differently in the future. Often times we like to blame others for relationship problems and break ups, when in reality, we are part of the problem ourselves. Take responsibility for your part of the break up and see where you can improve for the next relationship.
Finally, it is time to move on. You have spent some time feeling everything and contemplating everything you may have done wrong, now it is time to pick up and move forward. Start getting out there and meeting new people and taking part in new social experiences. Enjoy being single and work on self-improvement during this transition period. Some people need a rebound relationship at this point to truly move on, while others just need some time on their own to recuperate. Whatever you need, take the time relax and truly enjoy yourself. Many people get lost in a relationship and lose parts of themselves to their partner. Get back in touch with your inner self and make sure you are doing all of those things that make you truly happy and alive. Once you are emotionally healed, you can think about the beginning of a new relationship, but until then give yourself time to get over your break up. A wonderful new relationship may be just the thing you find in the future.


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