How to break an awkward silence on a date: Foolproof ways to keep the conversation going

Picture this: you’re on a date with someone new, everything’s going great, and suddenly, there’s silence. Your gut reaction might be to panic and scramble for something to say and start throwing out random questions, but don’t worry!

First dates can be nerve-wracking for many people. Some may have no problem talking heaps and rambling on about different topics of conversation that pop into their head, while others who are nervous may just clam up and struggle to hold a conversation.

Regardless of which category you fall into, awkward silences can happen to anyone when on a date. It can seem like it’s your worst nightmare coming true and may even feel embarrassed about the situation.

It’s actually natural to want to make a good first impression to the other person, by coming across as confident and somewhat adept in social situations, but life is unpredictable and we can all have moments where we blank out and just don’t know what to say, leading to uncomfortable pauses in the conversation.

First of all, keep in mind that silence is not a bad thing, and that it is normal to have natural breaks while talking. Pauses in conversation can even be a sign that you’ve hit upon a topic that requires more thought or that your date is processing your previous conversation. It’s not always a bad thing!

However, if you find that the deafening silence persists, you can try some of the following to turn the situation around.

How to avoid an awkward silence on a date

You’re on a first date with a guy you’ve been chatting with on a dating app for weeks. You’re feeling excited and nervous, determined to make a great first impression. You’re dressed in your cutest outfit and your hair and makeup are on point.

But… as soon as you sit down across from him at the restaurant, the conversation comes to a screeching halt. You both order your drinks and food, but the lulls in conversation are increasingly awkward to say the least.

It’s a feeling we’ve all experienced at some time, but luckily, there are some tactics that you can use to make a first date go as smoothly as possible.

Ask Open Ended Questions

One great approach is to ask open-ended questions that allow for deeper level conversation. Instead of just asking basic questions like “what do you do for a living?”, try asking “what inspired you to get into your current career?” or “what’s your biggest passion in life?”

Open-ended questions always work best as they allow for the conversation to flow naturally rather than resulting in one-word answers.These types of questions not only drive the conversation forward but they also allow you to get to know each other on a more meaningful level.

Chat side on instead of face to face

Are you someone who gets nervous at the thought of sitting face-to-face with a stranger for an extended period of time? Don’t worry, there’s a solution. Plan an activity that allows you to sit side-by-side or move around, like going for a walk in the park or playing a game of pool.

This way, you won’t feel the pressure to maintain constant eye contact, giving you the ability to shift your focus naturally without seeming rude. It can also provide a more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere.

Think about it–if you’re out walking together while drinking a coffee or chilling out on a park bench, you’re more likely to open up and relax than if you’re staring each other down across a table. And if there’s a lull in the conversation, you can always use the environment around you to spark a new topic.

For example, if you’re out for a walk, you could ask if they’ve explored the area before and suggest taking a new route. Or, if you’re playing a card game, you could ask what their favorite board game of all-time is. There are plenty of ways to keep the conversation flowing without the pressure of face-to-face conversation.

I remember the first date I went on with my now-fiancé. We decided to go for a walk in a local park. Not only did we get some exercise and fresh air, but we also had the chance to enjoy the beautiful scenery around us.

As we walked, we talked about our favorite hobbies and interests. I was grateful for the opportunity to chat side-by-side instead of feeling like all eyes were on me. It made the conversation much more natural and allowed me to feel more like myself.

So next time you’re feeling nervous about a first date, consider planning an activity that allows you to chat side-on. Who knows? It might be the key to breaking down those awkward barriers and creating a memorable connection with your date.

Throw out some ice breakers and interesting questions

You’ve just sat down at the table with your date, sipping on your drinks and taking in the ambiance of the restaurant. Things start off with some basic getting-to-know-you questions, but quickly fall into an uncomfortable silence.

Don’t panic, there’s nothing wrong with preparing beforehand. In fact, it’s a great idea to have some ice breakers and interesting questions ready to go just in case.

Firstly, try to think of some unconventional questions that will help break the ice. It could be something as simple as “what’s your favorite childhood memory?” or something more thought-provoking like “if you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?”

Another great option is to ask about their favorite movie, or what book they’ve been reading recently. These questions can lead to some great conversation and might even reveal some common interests.

However, if the conversation doesn’t naturally branch out into other topics, you might need to have some other interesting conversation starters up your sleeve. Think of a few topics beforehand that you can bring up if there’s a lull in the conversation.

Personal stories, hobbies, travel aspirations, favorite movies, TV shows or books are all great options. Don’t be afraid to even take the conversation in a more unconventional direction by asking a random or thought-provoking question.

Throwing out some funny ice breakers and posing interesting questions can help break the initial tension and get the conversation flowing on your date.

Be Prepared To Share And Listen

It’s a good idea to think about what you’re passionate about and prepare some things that you are comfortable sharing about yourself. Perhaps you have some amazing travel stories or you’re passionate about a particular hobby or activity. Ask if they are interested in the same type of things and see if that helps get the conversation flowing.

But remember, while it’s important to share things about yourself, it’s also important to balance speaking and listening. While it’s great to talk about yourself, try not to dominate the conversation.

Give your date an opportunity to speak about their own passions and interests, and listen attentively to what they have to say. It’s all about finding that perfect balance and having a genuine, meaningful conversation.

Don’t forget to listen attentively to what your date has to say and share a bit about yourself in return. With a bit of preparation and willingness to share, that awkward silence can quickly turn into a conversation filled with laughter and connection.

Focus on the future, not the past

One important thing to keep in mind is that some people aren’t comfortable talking about their past. Maybe they’ve had a difficult upbringing or past experiences that they don’t want to revisit. So, if you sense that your date is uncomfortable or doesn’t seem willing to share, don’t push for information. It’s important to respect their boundaries and let them share on their own terms.

Instead of dwelling on the past, try focusing on the future by asking about their goals. Whether it’s related to their work, hobbies, travel, or business ideas, being inspired by new things can lead to positive talk and a shared bonding experience of the possibility of what could be.

By focusing on the future, you’ll avoid bringing up negative emotions like sadness and anger that can often come up when discussing the past. Asking about goals can also lead to interesting conversations, and you may even find that you share similar aspirations.

So, next time you’re on a date, remember to focus on the future and not the past. Ask about their goals and aspirations, listen attentively, and share your own passions and interests. Who knows, you might even spark a connection that lasts a lifetime.

Test out some controversial topics if you are game

Are you the type of person who thrives on lively debate and enjoys diving into controversial topics? If so, why not use your passion for current events to your advantage on your next date? While some experts recommend avoiding contentious subjects, opening up the conversation to controversial topics could help you find someone who shares similar values and beliefs.

However, it’s important to be aware that not everyone is comfortable discussing religion, politics, or other hot-button issues. Some people shy away from these, fearing that they’ll create an uncomfortable or unwelcoming environment. And, of course, there’s always the risk that you and your date could end up on opposite sides of a heated debate, or that you’ll discover that your beliefs are completely incompatible.

That being said, if you’re confident in your thoughts and opinions and don’t mind a bit of debate, discussing controversial topics can be a great way to weed out those who aren’t the right fit for you. And, even if you don’t agree on everything, it can still be a valuable learning experience to see where the other person is coming from.

Of course, if you’re not comfortable with conflict or prefer to keep things light on a first date, it’s perfectly okay to steer clear of controversial topics and focus on more neutral subjects. But, if you’re game for a lively debate, don’t be afraid to test out some controversial topics and see where the conversation takes you – who knows, you might just find your perfect match.

Take a quick break if feeling overly anxious

When you’re on a date and the conversation reaches an awkward silence, it can be tempting to run away or bury your face in your phone. However, the best thing you can do in that moment is to stay relaxed and enjoy the moment for what it is. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that pauses in conversation are normal and happen all the time.

If you start to feel overwhelmed by the silence, it’s okay to take a quick break. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and take a moment to gather yourself. Splash your face with water (if it won’t ruin your makeup!), take a few deep breaths, anything that helps you to relax and calm down. While you are there, take a moment to think about some potential conversation starters you can attempt to use while you don’t have the pressure of your date staring at you.

Remember to also not take too long doing this. Your date might be wondering where you went and if you’re okay, or could even think you’ve decided to bail on them!

A quick break can help you to recharge and feel more confident in continuing the conversation. Sometimes all it takes is a small pause to bring the conversation back to life. When you return to the table, smile and carry on like nothing happened. Your date will appreciate your composure and confidence.

Reflect on your own body language

 In dating situations where the conversation seems to be falling completely flat, it’s often easy to put all the blame on the other person, but have you ever stopped to reflect on your own body language and what you could be projecting?

As much as we may not realize it, our body language can have a huge impact on how a conversation flows. Maintaining eye contact, nodding, and smiling can show that you’re engaged and fully present in the moment.

Take a moment to reflect on what you are doing. Are your arms crossed, signaling to the other person that you’re closed off? Do you constantly check your phone, signaling that you’re disinterested and not fully engaged in the conversation? These are all things to be mindful of as they can quickly kill the conversation.

It’s also important to reflect on the words you use and how your language is coming across. Are you being negative or blunt? Are you not showing interest in what your date is saying? These things can create an uncomfortable atmosphere and contribute to the awkwardness.

So, what can you do to improve the situation? Relax. Put your phone away, unfold your arms, and lean forward to show that you’re listening and engaged. Make eye contact and actively participate in the conversation. And, if you’re feeling really confident, maybe try a little flirtatious touch to show the other person that you’re interested.

Remember, if you’re coming across as closed off or uninterested, the other person is likely to mirror that behavior. So, take a moment to reflect on your own body language and language, and make some adjustments to ensure that the conversation is positive and more likely to continue flowing smoothly.

Do awkward silences mean incompatibility

Do awkward silences mean incompatibility? It’s a question that has plagued many a dater, causing unnecessary anxiety and self-doubt. But before you jump to the worst-case scenario, I always recommend giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe they’re just having an off day or are also feeling nervous. First dates can be tough, especially for introverts who are putting themselves out there to potentially be judged by a random person. So, take a deep breath, relax and see if you can turn things around.

It’s always a good idea to have some conversation starters up your sleeve, but it’s important to remember that sometimes, silence can be a good thing. It gives you a chance to process what’s been said and collect your thoughts. Plus, it also gives you the chance to observe your date’s body language and see if they’re still engaged in the conversation.

However, if it really is like pulling teeth and it is a dead conversation through and through, then perhaps it’s best to wrap up the date as quickly as possible while still being polite.

My main recommendation is don’t automatically assume that awkward silences on your first few dates mean incompatibility between the two of you. It’s important to remember that everyone is different and has different conversational styles.

Some people are comfortable with silence and prefer to let the conversation flow naturally. Others may be more talkative and require more input from their conversation partner. So, don’t write someone off based solely on the presence of a few awkward silences.

Give it time, get to know them better and see if you can find some common ground. Who knows, you might just surprise yourself and have a great time and have some fantastic chats despite the initial discomfort.

Awkward silences are normal on a date

Awkward silences are totally normal and even expected on a date. It’s impossible to talk 100% of the time, so embrace the breaks in conversation as an opportunity to collect your thoughts and observe your date’s body language.

In fact, trying to fill every silence can come across as having low self-confidence. It’s important to see an awkward silence as a stepping stone towards becoming comfortable with one another.

Don’t stress too much about awkward silences. They happen from time to time, and can even happen when a date is going really well. It’s natural to have moments of pause in a conversation, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that the date is going poorly overall.

At the end of the day, don’t let the fear of an awkward pause ruin your date. Embrace the natural ebb and flow of conversation and enjoy getting to know your date at your own pace.

Laughter is also a natural relaxant, so if you feel like the silence is becoming too tense, acknowledging it in a funny manner can often be the biggest ice breaker. You and your date can have a good laugh about how nervous you are to be on an awkward first date together.

And who knows, they could be your perfect match once you take the time to get to know them. And that seemingly uncomfortable silence and awkwardness you experienced could turn into the funny story you tell all your friends and families later on about how you first met!

Learning To Be Comfortable With The Awkward Lulls!

Ultimately, practice makes perfect, so don’t stress about a date not going perfectly and being a bit awkward.

Keep putting yourself out there, experimenting with different conversation topics and approaches, and you will only get better and increase your confidence when dealing with slow conversations on a date.

Remember, the more dates you go on, the more comfortable you’ll become, and eventually, those awkward paused will be a distant memory.