If you are considering dating a paramedic, it is good to know about all the potential problems and pitfalls, as well as the joys that this unique type of relationship can bring.
The biggest thing to remember when dating a first responder is that there are going to be many times where you will unfortunately not be the priority.
If your loved one is a paramedic, then at times your needs will come second, especially when they are on the job. Even though your relationship is with someone whose job is to save others, your needs will always come second to the public at large.
Plus, trying to date a person in the paramedic profession is a gamble when it comes to planning your daily life and routine. You never know what might come up and you need to be prepared for anything, including last-minute cancellations and having to do many things on your own.
Therefore, it is always good to know what you are getting into before you jump into a relationship headfirst with a paramedic.
How to date a paramedic?
Dating a paramedic or other emergency worker may seem super exciting and a great idea at the time, but this matching up can be fraught with danger.
Your partner is often going to spend more time at work than they do with you, and this may feel like a huge problem. It may be difficult for a paramedic to balance their time for both their partner and their work commitments.
When you deal with high stress and dangerous situations on a regular basis, your workmates become like your brothers and sisters. You rely on them to watch your back and even trust them with your life at times.
Your paramedic is going to have a special bond with the people they work with, and that’s going to include both men and women.
They also develop a unique closeness due to all the time they spend together. To avoid ongoing unhappiness, you will need to learn how to keep your emotions under control. If you are a jealous person, then dating a front line worker like a paramedic may not be the right choice for you.
Why is dating a paramedic so hard?
When dating someone in an EMS related profession like a paramedic, it will be hard to maintain the balance between work, love, and life.
To avoid disaster and keep your relationship intact, there are 5 key things you should keep in mind when dating a paramedic.
1. Outside of work, they don’t sweat the small stuff
Because of the range of unexpected and extreme things paramedics see every day while working, when they have to deal with normal life stuff they can often be thought to have little empathy.
Obviously, they will care about your well being, but don’t expect them to get too worried over minor injuries or when you start stressing over small things that ultimately don’t matter.
You of course want a supportive boyfriend or girlfriend, but when your job involves seeing the most serious and scariest things that can occur, they are not going to care too much about the petty stuff.
The positive side is that when things really do go bad, you know you will have someone by your side who will not run away and can handle themselves in stressful situations.
2. Expect for your paramedic to miss a lot of special occasions
With shift work and being on call, it’s really hard to plan in advance. Even if they request for a particular day off, there is no guarantee as rosters can change and short notice requirements often come up.
Although they will want to be there, they can’t promise anything, and often it may not be their choice. Unavoidable overtime is just part of the job.
They also know if they don’t pick up that last-minute shift because someone is sick, they are ultimately letting their workmates down, and that loyalty is a big part of who they are.
Their schedules are pretty much incompatible with what we consider normal life. If you are not comfortable with having to do things on your own at times, dating a paramedic might not be a great long term choice.
3. When dating a paramedic, forget about regular weekend activities
Are you expecting that you’ll have a regular work week with the weekends off for fun? Forget about that. Shift work and random hours are going to mean that you will often have different days off.
Trying to find free time together will be hard and you will probably have to get used to fitting into their schedule when you can.
Also, if your paramedic is new to the profession, they are also going to be filling in any gaps of the rotation that pop up, so their available time is going to be even more limited.
4. Great conversation skills about medical topics, other stuff not so much
As a paramedic, it’s not uncommon to spend all your time working, doing crazy shifts and hours. Because of this, it’s often hard to have a lot of outside hobbies. So when it comes to talking about everyday activities, they will often run out of general things to talk about very quickly!
Be prepared to talk about other topics, and sharing some of your experiences – they will more than likely find it fascinating as it will be different to their typical conversations.
Be aware that they may also not want to talk shop, so although it’s good to show interest in what they do, don’t spend all your time focused on their job and quizzing them about all the cliche things.
Often, when you are surrounded by other paramedics when hanging out with people who are not in the medical field, it’s nice to not talk about work-related things.
Although they could talk for hours about all things medical and the super gross and crazy stuff they have seen, for the average person this is going to get boring pretty quickly. Be aware that they may also have a pretty dark sense of humor, which is often the way many first responders learn to cope with the things they have seen.
5. They are really close with the people they work with
It’s unavoidable, they are going to have a close bond with their workmates. When you’re spending hours in a van together all the time, plus hanging out at the station, you get to know each other really well. Too well at times! It is easy for a level of intimacy to quickly develop between partners.
As a paramedic, even if you are not romantically involved with your work partner, you learn to rely on each other for emotional support and will often have many shared experiences that others won’t be able to relate to.
Even if you try to be super supportive of your partner, it can be hard for you to be understanding of the levels of stress they face. They will at times seek solace from those with who they work as they know first-hand what they are going through.
If you accept this and don’t get jealous of the bond they have, over time you will be lucky enough to be welcomed into their work-family.
What you should know about dating a female paramedic
There are going to be lots of similarities between dating a female paramedic and a male paramedic, but you should be aware that there are some things that could present some extra challenges.
They have worked hard to get where they are and constantly have to prove their ability and competence on the job, whether that’s to other paramedics or even the people who they treat that may have biases against females.
They are also used to having to take charge during intense situations where others may be upset and struggling to contain their emotions.
Be prepared for a strong woman who will be able to handle themselves in just about any situation. They won’t be needing you to rescue them or fix all their problems, but will be wanting a supportive partner to achieve their life goals with.
Should paramedic partners date each other?
This one might seem obvious but there is still some confusion out there regarding whether or not paramedics should date their work partners.
Like any workplace, there are always going to be some positives and negatives about dating co-workers. If you are only looking for casual dating, then choosing the person who you have to work beside day in day out may not be the best choice.
The biggest concern is, if you are working as a paramedic and your relationship isn’t going well then this could affect how much energy you have available to deal with people who really need help. This is made worse if you are both working on the same team.
If you are both paramedics but not working together, trying to align both your days off is going to be even harder. Two unpredictable shift rotations will definitely not be easy to plan around!
The big positive in choosing another paramedic as your romantic partner means you will both understand the pressures of the job and how difficult it is to have a personal life.
Is dating an EMS any different than anyone else?
Is it possible to date or even be happily married to a paramedic? Yes, of course it is. It just takes a little self-awareness, acceptance of what they can and can’t do, and being willing to accept some minor “adjustments” to your routine.
The other consideration is that due to having to deal with extremely bad situations, such as seeing major injuries and dead bodies, comforting distraught family members, plus dealing with being assaulted at times, they can struggle with PTSD. Learning how to support your partner through these tough times will be an essential and important part of the relationship.
For most people who are first responders, dating is going to be hard so when they find someone who accepts them even with all the difficulties, they will appreciate you even more. The best thing is that even with some of the struggles you will both encounter, your relationship will be even stronger and you will learn to enjoy the special benefits that this type of relationship brings to your life.
What is the best way to find a paramedic to date?
If you still desire to hit the dating scene and try finding yourself a cute paramedic, there are a few “first responder” dating sites that you can check out. However, these paramedic dating sites may not be the best option as many EMTs wouldn’t normally sign up to sites like these.
The best way is to get out in the local areas, find popular hangs out and just talk to plenty of people. If you do run into a cute paramedic who is having some downtime, take the chance and just say hi! Be aware though, if they are on the job, they may be hesitant to flirt back with an attractive patient or give out details as they are required to be professional.
Ready to start dating a paramedic?
Even with all of its challenges, you will learn to accept and even enjoy the special benefits of this type of relationship. In time you will learn to understand the pressures paramedics are under and how they deal with those different pressures.
You will learn to value the unique contributions a paramedic can make to your life. You will learn to understand the special challenges paramedics face every day and how they overcome those challenges.
As a couple, you will experience amazing highs and at times, some devastating lows. But, through it all, you will always have each other for support and for keeping your sense of humor.