My married guy friend stopped talking to me – what’s going on?
Starting a friendship with a married man is always fraught with danger. Even if there is no initial romantic interest, and it seems like an innocent friendship, it can easily get complicated over time. Although men and women can have friendships, it is not the same as two women or men having a close friendship.
When the man has a wife, the emotional connection that he builds with another women can potentially cause all unexpected feelings and emotions from all parties involved.
It often results in your married guy friend unexpectedly stop talking to you. It can be confusing and upsetting when it occurs, and you may be questioning why he has done this. There are multiple reasons however the most common ones I have outlined below.

Hi wife is jealous or thinks he is cheating
There is nothing wrong with men and women having platonic friendships in general, but for many women however, forming an emotional connection with their man can be seen as a form of cheating.
Guys are often given some grace when it comes to admitting general physical attraction to other women (though whether they act on it is another thing), however for a lot of women, they can be extremely hurt by their husbands having an emotional affair with another woman.
They may be concerned that their husband is spending too much time and too invested in the friendship instead of their own relationship, which ultimately should be number one.
For some women, they may be much more unsure about their relationship and therefore female friendships increase their levels of insecurity. The best way they think to deal with this conflict in marriage is to forbid their husbands from having any female friends at all
If you are not sure if this is what is actually happening, in the extreme cases they will often remove you from social media and block your number. The wife has told them they are to no longer have any contact with you and the best way to ensure that doesn’t happen is to remove every possible avenue for you to get in touch with them to avoid potential arguments.

Reconnected with his wife
If you started your friendship with a married guy who was initially going through a relationship breakdown, his circumstances might have changed since then. Although he may have thought the relationship with his wife was over, they could have reconnected and are trying to work things out again.
This is highly likely if they have young children together, as many married people will try to work things out to keep the family together for the sake of their children and maintaining a happy household.
Your guy friend is just too busy to talk.
In some cases, people are just super busy with all the stuff that life throws at them. If they also have kids, they could be caught up parenting and being involved with all their kids sporting and extra curriculum activities – you know, just being a good dad.
He may also be busy with work commitments, or some extended family issues have popped up that he needs to focus on. He may not intentionally be not talking to you, but is just extremely busy with everything else and at this time, you are simply a low priority in the scheme of things.

Your married guy friend has developed feelings for you
Although there may have never been an intention to cheat and that the friendship started simply as two people who got along really well, there is potential that your guy friend has realised he has now developed romantic feelings for you.
This turns what was a simple friendship into something much more complex and messy, and he may decide the best course of action is to just cut off contact with you.
He might have also received advice from close friend or therapist for him to reduce his contact with you as he has realised he is becoming dependent on you instead of his wife.
Yes, it’s an immature way to handle the situation by just cutting someone out of their life, and leaves you wondering what happened between you two. You would think as a close friend that he would have an honest conversation with you about it but people are more worried about protecting themselves and their personal circumstances such as their marriage and family life.
You were his emotional support friend
This is a situation that has happened to me way more times than I care to admit. I tend to become friends with guys who are “struggling” with something in their life, and it just happens to often be their unhappy and difficult relationship situations.
I have no intention of being romantic relationship with them, and because I don’t demand anything of them (as I’m not in a committed relationship with them), I don’t judge and I think I’m quite easy to talk to, we quickly become close friends and bond over time. They end up relying on me quite a bit and I become what I like to call their emotional support person.
In this situation, the guy might’ve been struggling with things in his life and was using you as an ego boost to make himself feel better. I mean, who doesn’t like all the additional attention, being told by a loving caring woman that they are great person, no fear of judgement, and listening intently to all their problems.
Now that his problems as resolved, he doesn’t need your friendship like he did before. As you no longer have utility and he doesn’t need you to make him feel better, he has other better things to focus on in his life.

You are no longer the new fun thing
Even when there is no intent for cheating, meeting someone new, especially of the opposite sex, often has an element of excitement – guys love the classic chase. There is a different dynamic with relationships between a male and female, even when the intent is just friendship.
The guy may be slightly addicted to this feeling of being close with a new woman, even if there is no physical aspect to the friendship. The frequent conversations and talking about intimate aspects of your life, beliefs and values can be intoxicating.
If this is what is happening, the excitement of a connection with someone new has probably worn off. If he was looking for something physical, and after all this extra time you have made it clear that you were only interested in platonic friendship and don’t have any sexual feelings, he may have given up the chase and moved onto someone new.
He could have even met another female friend who is now taking up more of his time. A guy can only juggle so much and it’s hard to manage a wife, family and two girlfriends, so something has to give. Unfortunately it may be you in this situation.
He has realised that your feelings have changed for him
Close friendships can bring out all sorts of unexpected emotions and feelings. Although you may not realise it (or think you are hiding it quite well) he may have realised that your feelings towards him are changing.
If he cares about you and doesn’t want to make you feel taken advantage of, he may make the difficult decision to take a step back from your friendship as he knows that he cannot give you what you want – a deep relationship with him.
In some situations, a guy may also feel freaked out that you are falling for him, so to avoid an awkward conversation and to minimise potential future accusations of an affair situation, he may just disappear without explanation.

Your relationship / marriage is causing concerns.
In some situations, your married guy friend may have realised that your close friendship was negatively effecting both your relationships, where you were both neglecting your significant other.
He may have also realised that he was developing feelings, but knew you didn’t feel the same way as you had expressed that you were very a happily married woman and very content in your romantic relationship, and therefore it wasn’t a good idea to keep the friendship going and possibly causing problems in your relationship going forward if there were any misunderstandings.
There is also the potential that your husband or partner has said something to him that has made him back off. Maybe your husband is jealous of the connection you are forming and wishes for you to spend more of your time focused on improving your relationship instead.
Another option could be that your partner may understand that you are struggling with things in your own life, and although it is good to rely on close friends, he suggests that it is better for you to see a relationship coach or therapist to work through your problems with someone who is neutral to the situation.

What to do if your married guy friend stops talking to you
The main thing you can do is just give him plenty of space. If you are friends, you have to understand that he at times will have very busy periods that demand all his attention.
If there has been no event to signal that the friendship is over, it is ok to reach out in a supportive manner but then leave the ball in his court. Just remember, you are not his wife and therefore will never have top priority in his life.
In time, he may choose to reach out again to you. How you react and what you are willing to accept as a friendship moving forward is up to you.
If there has been a clear message that he is ending the friendship, such as directly telling you he can no longer be friends, or has removed you from social media and even blocked your number, then you have to act accordingly.
The friendship is over and even though it did not end on your terms, you cannot force any further interaction. It would be nice to have an explanation of what his reasons were, but keep some dignity and don’t act like a desperate woman. You cannot demand that once certain actions have been taken.
It may be hard, but you have to accept that he is no longer your friend, no matter how nice he was, and move on with your life.
If your guy friend reaches out again in the future
A common occurrence with married guys and they decide to cut you out of their life and stop talking to you, they may “reappear” again sometime in the future. From what I have seen, there is often two main reasons for this.
The first possible reason is that they have recently separated or divorced and it’s now “ok” in their mind to resume the friendship because the wife is no longer saying he can’t be friends with either yourself or just females in general.
Another regularly situation is that he is still married but going through a rough patch or even seriously unhappy with his life in general and looking to you for support as he knows you made him feel good in the past.
In both situations, you will need to decide whether to let your past married guy friend back into your life
If the marriage is over, and you see a potential beneficial friendship, maybe there is a possibility of being friends again. I highly recommend you ensure that you have clear boundaries as you may turn into a rebound relationship as they are seeking comfort of a relationship but don’t want to be tied down again yet.
If he is still married, he may be seeking you as an emotional support friend as mentioned above. If you let him into your life, be prepared for this guy to potentially ditch you again when he feels like his marriage is back on track or the wife gives an ultimatum that he has to end your friendship or she will leave.

Friendships with married men – you have been warned!
If you do start a friendship with a man, ensure you go into it with realistic expectations. There is a high likelihood that at some point in the future he may stop talking to you for all the reasons mentioned above. Do not come to rely on him, but enjoy the friendship for what it is in the moment.
A man has to decide what is most important to them, and although he may have valued your friendship and think you are a great person, when it comes down to the crunch, the marriage is going to win 99% of the time. Don’t be surprised when your guy friend unfortunately stops talking to you and cuts you out of their life forever.
It’s crappy when it happens, but that is the risk of starting a friendship with someone who is a married individual.