What to do when you are feeling jealous?
Jealousy lives upon doubts!
“Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty.” Francois dela Rochefoucauld
Jealousy is a natural emotion to feel in the course of your life. When it comes to jealousy in relationships, it can be detrimental. Unfortunately, it can be a very powerful emotion that takes control of your life.
- What steps can you take to limit this green-eyed monster from entering your life?
- How do you deal with it?
Check out your relationship!
If you are feeling insecure in your relationship, the jealous bug can creep into your mind. If your relationship is strong and built on trust and respect, you should not have these feelings. Taking the time to determine if you are in a healthy relationship can be the answer to the problems you are having. Speak with your partner and see if they can understand why you are feeling the way you are. Maybe they will acknowledge that their behavior is a little suspicious, or maybe they will say that it is all in your head. What is important to know is that if you continue to stay in a unhealthy relationship, these emotions will not go away and may even increase in severity.
Look at yourself
Sometimes the feelings of jealousy are actually being projected from your past relationships. If you had an unfaithful boyfriend in the past, you may not trust your new relationship. This can be the case, even though there have not been any reasons to believe they are not honest. Insecurities also start early, so if you have had poor attachments with caregivers when you were growing up, you may feel as if you could be abandoned at any moment. Anyone that is around you and happy may cause you to feel these strong emotions of anger towards them, but you will have to try and overlook this. Consider speaking to a therapist, because they can help you deal with your past and change your future. Also the book called trust issues is worth a look at too. You can get it here: Trust Issues: Manage the Anxiety, Insecurity and Jealousy in Your Relationship, With 10 Simple Steps – 2nd Edition
Fear
Most of the feelings you are having are natural. If you see your partner flirting or speaking with someone else, it is only natural that you will have a little bit of jealousy surface. It just means that you care about your partner and do not want to lose them. Feeling as if you can lose your partner is a stressful emotion that you should discuss with your partner. As long as it occurs in moderation and is discussed, it can strengthen your relationship as your partner assures you that they are not interested in anyone else and that you are silly for thinking otherwise. However, if you are checking in every week for reassurance, it may cause a rift and inevitably the end to your relationship.
Own up to It
Confront these feelings head on and accept and acknowledge them. If I am jealous of someone or something, I tend to say it. I would say “I wish I had your body,” to acknowledge that I respect the work that my friend has put into their body. This frees the feeling from inside and brings it out into the open and once it is verbalized, the power it holds over me is gone.
Let it go!
It may sound cheesy or simpler said than done, but in reality it can be done. Determine that you want this emotion out of your life and take a deep breath when that emotion tries to rear its ugly head. This type of conscious therapy is very effective when you acknowledge the emotion and choose to master and conquer it.
Remind yourself of your high points
When you compare yourself to others and find that you fall short, just think about your great traits. Focus on the positives that you have and try to remember that jealousy is natural, every now and then, but don’t let it consume your life.
Seek counseling
If none of these tips help you rid this annoying emotion, consider speaking with someone. Having an external perspective can help you gain focus and change the patterns you have been creating for yourself. Professionals can walk you through the reasons you are feeling the way you do and then work on the solutions that can minimize the act of being jealous from popping up in your head all the time.
