You’ve met a great guy, you hit it off and start getting to know each other asking the usual questions like where’d you grow up, what’s your family like and what do you do for a living.
You find out that he is a “trucker” and before you know it, he is telling you he is headed off in 2 days on a job and won’t be back for a couple weeks. You think to yourself, what have I gotten myself into? Is this normal?
It’s not uncommon for truck drivers to be on call 24 hours per day, 7 days a week. They often can’t take time off for personal reasons or family emergencies without risking losing income. While away on a job, he will often have to work long hours without much sleep.
For long haulers, the job requires him to travel all over the country. Going off on a trip for a few weeks at a time is definitely not unusual, but can place a lot of strain on a relationship, whether you’re newly dating or been married for years.
Dating a truck driver is definitely hard and throws up some unique challenges. It takes a strong person be a trucker, as well as to date one!
How to have a successful relationship with a trucker
There are some key things that you need to know if you considering dating a truck driver and wanting to establish a relationship with one. Every relationship is unique but there are some key things you should be aware of before diving head first into something serious with a trucker.
1. Spend quality time together during off days
Your time together is going to be limited. Normal couples usually spend at least 2 hours together each day, and enjoy a daily routine. However, for a trucker, this is not possible and you end up having to condense that time for when you are at home. Therefore focusing on quality over quantity is important.
After returning, it can be hard to not fall into the trap of getting caught up in all the day to day stuff, as well as trying to fit in some rest before heading off on the next job. If you want to maintain the relationship, extra effort is going to be needed.
Although planning big activities may not be possible, doing things together that you both enjoy and value, and being able to have those intimate moments together will help the relationship stay strong for the long term.
Creating opportunities for those special moments as a couple, as well as making a plan for casual dates when the time permits, is essential for long term happiness.
Another thing to consider is looking to incorporate more physical type activities into the time you spend together. Unfortunately, the trucker lifestyle is very much an unhealthy lifestyle. They spend hours behind the wheel, limited movement, eating a lot of junk food throughout the day, and when they stop they often just want to sleep.
Going for a hike together can be great bonding activity where you can be alone together, talk about those everyday issues, (even possible have an intimate picnic along the way), as well as fitting in some much needed exercise.
2. Maintain a connection every day while you’re apart
Just like a long distance relationship, it takes hard work and a commitment to keep regular contact happening if you are on the road for weeks on end.
Letting your long-haul truck driver know what is happening back home will help them feel like they are still involved, especially when it comes to kids. It can be hard missing all the small moments as they grow up, as well as not being around for all the extra activities such as sports, recitals, and birthday parties.
Luckily with modern technology, it is much easier to communicate with each while away. Being able to send an update message throughout the day or seeing their face on your phone at the end of the day is vital to retaining that connection especially if they are away for long stretches of time.
For the one left back at home, it also reassuring to know that their trucker has made it to their overnight stop safe and sound, reducing some of the stress and worry they would be feeling while you are away.
Depending on where they are headed, it’s good to note that they may not have reception the whole time and can often experience cell signal issues. If they drive these routes regularly, you will soon learn when there will be limited communication time and to expect some radio silence.
For the truckers, the day to day routine doesn’t change too much, and other than venting frustrations about something that may have gone wrong on the road, talking about the different weather conditions, and how the delivery went. Outside of that, there isn’t usually too much to talk about that hasn’t been said before.
Just remember, even if the daily conversations start to seem boring, it’s still essential to have them. Don’t get into the habit of pushing chats to the next day, or minimising communication because you feel there isn’t anything new to talk about.
These don’t necessarily always have to be long chats. Even if you just listen as your partner back home talks about their day to day activities, you are ensuring that the connection between the two of you stays strong.
3. Learn to live your own life
When you start dating a truck driver, you are choosing a difficult lifestyle and a relationship that will take a lot of work to keep strong. It is possible for your trucker to be away for weeks at a time. If you are not use to being on your own, you will more than likely start to feel extremely lonely as time goes by.
If you are an independent person who is able to lead a fulfilling life and not rely on your partner to be there 100% of the time (or even 50% of the time!), then although you may get lonely at times and miss your partner while they are away, you are more likely to have successful relationship.
Unfortunately, if you are someone who struggles with being alone for long periods of time, experiences separation anxiety and needs your partner to be consistently around, then trying to build a long term relationship with a trucker may not be the right choice for you.
4. Work on the relationship and maintaining trust
Trust is essential for any relationship, but even more so when dating a truck driver. They are away for days on end, with often minimal communication, and travelling to all parts of the country. It’s easy to start worrying about what they may be getting up to when you hear the stories of people with girlfriends or families in other towns.
However, for any relationship to be successful, trust has to be there and it has to go both ways. The partner at home may be worried about what their trucker is getting up to and if they are cheating on them with other women, but they may be just as worried about what their spouse is getting up to back home.
If a relationship already has trust issues or you get jealous easily, then it’s going to be hard to maintain a strong relationship as the time and distance apart is only going to erode this even more. Therefore before jumping into things with a truck driver, you need to ask yourself whether you can handle this type of relationship?
However, where trust is strong, you have faith in your partner and both have strong values, then a supportive and loving relationship can grow. Your trucker will appreciate having you there and knowing they have someone special to come home to.
My main advice is to just remember to keep working on the relationship by continuing to communicate, be open and honest with each other, and making sure you make the most of the time you do have together.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can truck drivers bring their girlfriend / wife along?
Some trucking companies may not allow tag alongs due to various company policies, but for owner operators, there is usually no problem with taking your partner on the road with you.
If you are considering joining your trucker for a road trip, it may be better to start with a short overnight route. You may be somewhat surprised by the experience and will probably not be what you expect!
Although some trucks have quite an impressive set up inside, a lot will only have the basics. Long haul truckers often have limited facilities available while on the road, and can end up doing it quite rough at times. Getting access to toilets and showers may not always be possible, low quality meals, plus sleeping in the cab. You will also gain an appreciation for what they have to deal with on a day to day basis, and the frustrations of the job that they come up against.
However, if you can handle the conditions and being stuck in a box together for days on end, it might just open up opportunities for you to spend more time together and even see parts of the country you haven’t been to before.
Is being a truck driver lonely?
Being a truck driver is often quite lonely. It involves spending hours every day, for long periods of time, on the road in a cab by yourself.
For those who had a spouse before getting into the trucking industry, they will often find that even with the difficulties, the relationship strengthens and grows. However, if there were existing problems, they often get worse leading to a separation.
Single truckers can find it really hard to meet someone who understands their trucking lifestyle. They may meet someone in the short period of time they have off, but then the next job lined up means they need to disappear for days, if not weeks on end.
This is difficult when trying to start something new and trying to build a strong relationship. In the beginning, it may also pose some trust issues as the person left at home usually doesn’t understand what is going on.
There are some trucker dating sites that cater for people within the trucking industry, and those who are single may find success as those who are looking here will hopefully understand the difficulties involved.
Although it may be hard to find someone who understands and accepts the challenges of being a truck driver, once you find them, ensure you take the time to appreciate them as a trucker life can be both challenging and rewarding.